Die You Zombie Bastards! (2005) (RePost from the old Ryan’s Reviews site)

Description (from the box):

Thrill to the mayhem that ensues when the ever-lovable serial killer RED TOOLE must travel the globe in search of his missing wife, the lovely VIOLET. Shes been kidnapped by the evil BARON NEFARIOUS who, of course, plans to conquer the world (or something) by turning everyone into MINDLESS ZOMBIE SLAVES! Sure, the story may sound familiar, but trust us – you’ve never seen anything like THIS SEE a serial-killer superhero WITH A CAPE MADE OF HUMAN FLESH! HEAR one-man rockabilly legend HASIL ADKINS in his element! SEE hot half-naked green skinned ZOMBIE GIRLS ready to do as they’re told! SMELL scalding, molten cheese disfiguring pert young nipples!

Major Cast:

Tim Gerstmar as Red Toole, Pippi Zornoza as Violet, Geoff Mosher as Nefarious

Written by Haig Demarjian and Caleb Emerson

Directed by Caleb Emerson

If I had a Camp-O-Meter, it would have exploded while watching Die You Zombie Bastards! I never would have guessed that this film was made by a Troma alumni (just a LITTLE bit of sarcasm there). Heres a great example of what Im getting at – during the first ten minutes of DYZB!, you get: Hasil Adkins, an alien ship, teens making out, pot smoking, a serial killer with a full-size grim reaper scythe (which leads to), cheesy decapitations, hot naked triplets, a guy in a fish suit, and the Amphibicock. What more could you ask for from a b-movie? How about topless green zombie chicks, serial killer superheros, Kentucky Bobs Wifeswappin Rodeo, Coconut Head Face Man, people rolling cheese, Ninjas, Robots, Dogmen, Vlad the Impaler, and Mosquito Warlords? Goddamn this flick is packed with b-movie goodness.

This movie takes conventions from b-movies from over the years and jam-packs them into one funny ride. Red, the superhero serial killer, has lost his wife to the evil Baron Nefarious, who wants
her to be his zombie queen. Red must travel the globe, running into porn legend Jaime Gillis repeatedly, to discover who has Violet, how to defeat this enemy, and then to find the Baron himself.

This movie really has it all as far as camp is concerned. There is incredibly funny dialogue (Waft hither. Mmm stinky.), great splatstick and physical comedy, super campy zombies (they have purple hair and green skin and do as they are told by the Baron), continuity jokes, subtitle jokes, funny puppet effects (Olaf the Cheese Demon), great flash back scenes, and full-frontal nudity in the first ten minutes! There is a dick fascination in this film – used to make the audience laugh through shock – and is shown especially vividly through the Barons forms of masturbation, and of course, the Amphibicock.

DYZB! has no pretensions as to what it is: a cheesy, campy comedy. Everything within the film reinforces this; no one is trying to put in an Oscar wining speech, there are no CGI zombies, etc. Every element within this movie pushes it toward the extreme end of the camp spectrum. Viewer be warned, though: this film is not for the squeamish or morally upstanding in the audience (though I dont think I have too many people fitting that profile in my readership!). There is a lot of gore (though campily done) in this film, there is a lot of nudity in this film, and there are many chances to be offended. If youre not offended by the gore or skin, theres the language, the characters themselves, the recurring phalluses, rat masturbation, or the plain weird (Nefarious tying his nipples to Violets toes and then plucking out a tune). However, if you are into the Troma school of film, or any sort of b-movies, and you are NOT easily offended, you need to see DYZB! As my wife said, Its fucking funny.

Overall 9 / 10

Die You Zombie Bastards! on the imdb: http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0349349/

Die You Zombie Bastards! for sale: http://www.dieyouzombiebastards.com/BUY_IT_NOW.html

(but as of this review, it seems to be sold out!)

Die You Zombie Bastards! site: http://www.dieyouzombiebastards.com/