Reviews, Ranked!

Here is a list of all of the movies, music, and beer I have reviewed, and the scores I gave them.  If more than one movie has the same score, they are then listed chronologically, most recently reviewed first.  An asterisk designates a short film (under 50 minutes).

MOVIES

10
CHOP (4/14/11)

9.5
Geek War (5/15/11)

9
Father’s Day (1/7/14)
Scalene (4/3/13)
Dust Up (11/13/12)
Dead Weight (10/24/12)
Indie Game: The Movie (7/27/12)
The Righteous and the Wicked (4/20/12)
Ski Wolf (4/27/08)
Modify (3/24/07)
KatieBird *certifiable crazy person (3/7/06)
Die You Zombie Bastards! (2/6/06)
Collecting Rooftops (10/25/05)

8.5
The Ghastly Love of Johnny X (12/1/13)
Ian Cooke: Cassowary and Fruit Bat* (10/19/13)
Dark of Winter (2/3/13)
Screaming in High Heels: The Rise and Fall of the Scream Queen Era (8/18/12)
Contact* (6/23/12)
T is for Tag* (3/17/12)
41 (1/21/12)
Psycho Holocaust (7/3/11)
East of Sunset (10/19/05)
The Stink of Flesh (9/16/05)

8
In Heaven There is no Beer (3/19/14)
I Love Molly McGrath* (2/5/14)
Jack Jimminy: The Story of a Pornstar Extra* (12/29/13)
We Win or We Die* (11/28/13)
Caesar and Otto’s Deadly Xmas (11/17/13)
Electric Man (9/5/13)
An American Ghost Story (8/13/13)
Gut (5/28/13)
Swing Lowe Sweet Chariote (5/25/13)
나를 잊지 말아요 aka Remember O Goddess* (1/6/13)
Dark Vessel* (10/10/12)
Basket Case 3: The Progeny (10/7/12)
Simple Mind* (9/30/12)
The Fields (9/28/12)
Burma – A Human Tragedy (8/7/12)
The Code* (5/22/12)
Jessicka Rabid (4/14/12)
Trash* (4/3/12)
Asylum Seekers (10/29/11)
Cropsey (6/18/11)
My Last Day* (5/29/11)
Someone’s Knocking at the Door (4/19/11)
Frankie in Blunderland (5/30/11)
Mickey* (5/22/11)
Klown Kamp Massacre (5/8/11)
Necroville (9/18/08)
Toutes les Francais Sont Putains (aka All the French are Whores)* (7/14/06)
Carnage for the Destroyer (aka Appollyon the Destroyer) (6/8/06)
Scream, Science Bastard, Scream! (11/16/05)

7.5
The Weirdsies (1/10/16)
In Trouble (2/5/14)
Antisocial (1/17/14)
Atom the Amazing Zombie Killer (6/30/13)
Memories For Sale* (6/16/13)
Sexsquatch: The Legend of Blood Stool Creek (3/14/13)
The Quiet Arrangement (2/3/13)
Familiar* (10/27/12)
Crestfallen* (6/23/12)
Stiffed (1/22/12)
George: A Zombie Intervention (12/28/11)
Gunderson’s* (12/16/11)
Mourning Wood (11/13/11)
Strigoi (10/7/11)
Wet Heat (4/25/08)
Foxxy Madonna vs. The Black Death* (1/3/08)
Easter Bunny, Kill! Kill! (10/19/06)
LolliLove (3/31/06)
Raving Maniacs (2/22/06)
Heather and Puggly Crucify the Devil (1/25/06)

7
In Fear Of: Clowns (aka The Red Balloon)* (1/31/16)
Stages* (10/19/13)
Wild Girl Waltz (10/4/13)
A Hand to Play* (9/11/13)
The Greyness of Autumn* (6/29/13)
Dead in France (3/24/13)
Fugue State (Halloween Horror 2012)
Fight Scene* (10/9/12)
Tilting at Skyscrapers* (8/10/12)
Shredder (7/22/12)
My Name is A by Anonymous (3/17/12)
Missing You (2/10/12)
Revealed: Portraits from Beneath One’s Surface* (1/21/12)
Over Coffee* (12/16/11)
Look* (11/24/11)
Joy and the Apocalypse (7/30/11)
Waldo the Dog (5/21/11)
The Gruesome Death of Tommy Pistol (4/26/11)
Obsolescence* (4/13/11)
Pornography: A Thriller (4/6/11)
The Work of Blind Budget Films* (1/12/08)
Girl with Gun* (9/3/06)
Stiff Odds (6/15/06)
Blood Trim (1/25/06)
Dude Vision* (11/30/05)
Cross (9/10/05)

6.5
Samurai Cop 2 (2/14/16)
Nothing* (3/1/14)
Better Off Undead* (Halloween Horror 2013 pt. 1)
Biology 101 (9/1/13)
Fall to Grace* (6/11/13)
Captain Slickpants (2/17/13)
Ms. Cannibal Holocaust (10/28/12)
Fix: The Ministry Movie (8/11/12)
Drool* (6/23/12)
Rage (6/17/12)
Love Stalker (6/2/12)
The Sweet Hand of the White Rose* (4/10/12)
The Watchers* (12/16/11)
iCrime (11/22/11)
The Coffin (10/14/11)
Beneath the Veneer of a Murder* (9/27/11)
The Anniversary at Shallow Creek (8/21/11)
Ninjas vs. Vampires (6/24/11)
Retards 2: Bon Appetard* (10/16/05)

6
Left For Dead (3/8/14)
Il Monstruoso Dottor Crimen aka Monster (3/10/13)
Suburban Zombie, or: The Decay of the Mind (2/13/13)
Ghostbustin’ 911 (Episodes 1-4) (1/18/13)
6 Degrees of Hell (11/26/12)
Kill (7/28/12)
The Misogynist* (7/10/12)
Science Bastard* (11/16/05)

5.5
Desolation (2/5/14)
Overcrowded* (12/29/13)
In Search of La Che (6/29/13)
Zombie Allegiance (5/1/12)
The Puzzle* (4/10/12)
The Hide (11/19/11)
Shade of Grey (4/13/11)

5
Vanilla Ice Archive (7/31/13)
Going Crazy (1/12/13)
Alleged Gangster Rudy Wright (10/30/12)
Are All Men Pedophiles? (9/23/12)
Bite Marks (1/28/12)
Bloodlust Zombies (8/13/11)

4.5
Scream Park (4/13/14)
Prophecy & Pollution (4/8/12)
Drop Box (5/3/11)
Separation of Church & State* (10/16/05)

4
Earth Spirit (1/24/16)
4 Dead Girls: The Soul Taker (11/4/13)
Just Another Noir (5/5/13)
Wound (8/4/12)
Porkchop (4/24/12)
Dawning (8/7/11)
movinG (1/23/07)
Dream Reaper (7/18/06)

3.5
Midnight Melinda (6/11/11)
Retards Shouldn’t Run with Chainsaws* (10/16/05)

3
Laughter (Halloween Horror 2013 pt. 2)
Peace & War* (4/8/12)
Exit 33 (10/1/11)
Strangers Online (9/18/11)
Goreinvasión (3/20/06)

2.5
The Forbidden Four (7/26/14)
Saucer Sex Peep Show (6/4/12)
Hollywood Love (4/8/12)

2
The Burning Moon (7/29/12)

1
The Summer of Massacre (4/11/12)

MUSIC

9.5
Ian Cooke: The Fall I Fell [DVD] (2/17/12)
That Handsome Devil: The Heart Goes to Heaven, The Head Goes to Hell (9/4/11)

9
The Dry Season: The Dry Season (9/9/12)
Ian Cooke: The Fall I Fell (11/30/11)

8.5
From Beyond: The Color Out of Space EP (01/04/14)
Western Skies Motel: Western Skies Motel (12/24/13)
Cas One: The Monster and the Wishing Well (11/7/13)
Falling Still: Falling Still (2/23/13)
Doc Delay & Godforbid: American Style Cardboard (2/5/12)

8
From Beyond: One Year EP (01/04/14)
Mega Gem: Colors of the West (10/30/13)
Ian Cooke: Evolution of Rover (10/19/13)
Skulastic: Skulastic (7/7/13)
Illogistical Resource Dept.: Catharsis (3/31/13)
Kayohes: Stress City 2 (2/10/13)
Sinicle: Obliterate [Music Video] (7/30/12)
Eolian: Egg (1/15/12)
Ian Cooke: Fortitude (11/30/11)
When Darkness Falls: Bloodstone (7/1/11)

7.5
Mark Adams Son Of Bill: Norepinephrine (4/5/14)
Sally Ann Fowler: Songs for Adventurers EP (6/22/13)
Crud: Crud on Monster Island (4/7/12)
Donnie Walden III: As Simple As it Gets (5/12/11)

7
Ian Cooke: Antiquasauria (1/17/16)
Ian Cooke: Evolution of Quetzalcoatlus (10/19/13)
These Curious Thoughts: What Is It, and How Did it Get in There? (10/6/13)
Amadeo L. Gauthier: Une Chanson d’Amour (8/20/13)
Break Your Legs: Ghostcore (4/28/13)
When Darkness Falls: The Power EP (4/22/13)
V3RB: Standing Ovation (2/10/13)
Howe: Bolt From the Blue (11/22/12)
Is It Is: Hollyhocks (7/15/12)
Chris Donley: Sunshine (7/1/12)
Nemes: Don’t Flush Me (6/9/12)
Uphollow: Jackets for the Trip [CD / DVD] (3/20/12)
Monks of Mellonwah: Stars Are Out (2/19/12)

6.5
Boudain: Boudain EP (5/25/13)
Red November Sky: The Ghost Within (3/23/13)
The Outlaws of Zen: Don’t Bother Getting Up, We’ll Let Ourselves In (1/23/13)
Suboculis: Infurmus (1/11/13)
Stealing Betty: Stealing Betty (12/14/12)
Kassey Key & The Raindoggs: One Armed Bandits (11/22/12)
Contortionist: Demo (9/22/12)
R.C. Kohl: Landscapes (8/12/12)
The McCauliffe Brothers Band: It’s Likely (7/8/12)
Via the Sun: Theatrics (7/1/12)
Andrew Handrick: Distractions (6/2/12)
Laura J: Illuminate (8/17/11)
The Renegade Sam: I’m Next (8/3/11)

6
Electricjezus: Грязь поколений (aka Mud of Generations) (11/24/13)
Haiduk: Spellbook (as reviewed by guest Aaron “Beer Metal Dude” Mendiola) (9/22/13)
Sorrow’s Path: The Rough Path of Nihilism (6/9/13)
Love Hate Rebellion: Suspenderboys (3/5/13)
Aged Teen: This Is Not an Exit (12/30/12)
Grenouer: Computer Crime (9/8/12)
Transcend With Time: A Haunting Presence (7/22/11)
Weeping Ulcer: Dwelling in Filth (7/10/11)

5.5
Touch_the_Sky: Miskatony (8/18/12)

5
Trout: Five Rooms EP (4/17/13)
H.C. Turk: Thenever (6/24/12)

4
Up On The Apple: Dreaming While the World’s Still Sleeping (2/3/14)

BEER

9
Guadalupe Brewing Company (New Braunfels, TX): Blueberry Funk (3/23/14)
Adroit Theroy Brewing Company (Purcellville, VA): Bourbon Barrel Aged Lux (1/19/14)
Karbach Brewing Company (Houston, TX): FUN 004: Roll in the Hay (9/15/13)

8.5
Adelbert’s Brewing (Austin, TX): Dancin’ Monks Vintage Series (10/29/13)
5 Stones Craft Brewing Company (Cibolo, TX): Zero (9/8/13)
Adroit Theroy Brewing Company (Purcellville, VA): Soldiers of Fortune: Seek and Destroy (8/17/13)
Guadalupe Brewing Company (New Braunfels, TX): Cherry Sour (7/27/13)
Adroit Theory Brewing Company (Purcellville, VA): G/I/A/A (6/4/13)

8
(512) Brewing Company: Black IPA (2/7/16)
Port City Brewing (Alexandria, VA): Porter (1/4/14)
Karbach Brewing Company (Houston, TX): FUN 005: Bourbon Barrel Aged Hellfighter (9/15/13)
Guadalupe Brewing Company (New Braunfels, TX): Scotch Ale (7/27/13)
Ranger Creek (San Antonio, TX): La Bestia Aimable (4/22/13)

7.5
Port City Brewing (Alexandria, VA): Monumental (1/4/14)
Mad Pecker Brewing Co. (San Antonio, TX): Lechuza Negra (11/3/13)
Adroit Theroy Brewing Company (Purcellville, VA): Tenebris – Bourbon Barrel (9/29/13)
Adroit Theroy Brewing Company (Purcellville, VA): The Devil Made Me (7/13/13)
Endless Brewing (Montrose, PA): Jack’s Mountain Hop (5/25/13)
Barley Creek Brewing Company (Tannersville, PA): Angler (5/7/13)
Ranger Creek (San Antonio, TX): Small Batch #5 (4/22/13)

7
Guadalupe Brewing Company (New Braunfels, TX): Rye IPA (3/23/14)
Guadalupe Brewing Company (New Braunfels, TX): Dat Wit (3/23/14)
Guadalupe Brewing Company (New Braunfels, TX): Americano (3/23/14)
Arbor Brewing Company (Ann Arbor, MI): Barrel Aged Brune 2013 (2/18/14)
Adroit Theroy Brewing Company (Purcellville, VA): Agave (1/19/14)
Port City Brewing (Alexandria, VA): Optimal (1/4/14)
Port City Brewing (Alexandria, VA): Essential (1/4/14)
Naughty Brewing Company (San Antonio, TX): I Think She Hung The Moon (12/21/13)
5 Stones Craft Brewing Company (Cibolo, TX): Aloha Piña (11/10/13)
5 Stones Craft Brewing Company (Cibolo, TX): Heavens to Murgatroid (11/10/13)
Mad Pecker Brewing Co. (San Antonio, TX): Triangulum (11/3/13)
5 Stones Craft Brewing Company (Cibolo, TX): Norma Jean (9/8/13)
Branchline Brewing Company (San Antonio, Texas): Woodcutter (8/31/13)
Adroit Theroy Brewing Company (Purcellville, VA): Soldiers of Fortune: Extreme Prejudice (8/17/13)
Guadalupe Brewing Company (New Braunfels, TX): Belgian-Style Texas Honey Ale (7/27/13)
Ranger Creek (San Antonio, TX): Strawberry Milk Stout (6/15/13)
Adroit Theory Brewing Company (Purcellville, VA): T/P/D (without sugar) (6/4/13)

6.5
5 Stones Craft Brewing Company (Cibolo, TX): Sleepy Hollow (11/10/13)
Karbach Brewing Company (Houston, TX): Hopadillo (10/12/13)
Karbach Brewing Company (Houston, TX): Weisse Verse Wheat (10/12/13)
Ranger Creek (San Antonio, TX): Southtown (8/10/13)
Adroit Theory Brewing Company (Purcellville, VA): Cannibalism (6/4/13)
Endless Brewing (Montrose, PA): Burning Comet (5/25/13)
Barley Creek Brewing Company (Tannersville, PA): Navigator (5/7/13)

6
Mad Pecker Brewing Co. (San Antonio, TX): Jazzy Belle (11/3/13)
Karbach Brewing Company (Houston, TX): Sympathy for the Lager (10/12/13)
Adroit Theroy Brewing Company (Purcellville, VA): Tenebris (9/29/13)
Karbach Brewing Company (Houston, TX): Karbachtoberfest (9/15/13)
Branchline Brewing Company (San Antonio, Texas): Shady Oak (8/31/13)
Guadalupe Brewing Company (New Braunfels, TX): Texas Honey Ale (bottle) (7/27/13)
Adroit Theory Brewing Company (Purcellville, VA): T/P/D (with sugar)

5.5
Naughty Brewing Company (San Antonio, TX): Zijden Kousen (12/21/13)
Adroit Theory Brewing Company (Purcellville, VA): Soldiers of Fortune: Death from Above (8/17/13)

5
Mad Pecker Brewing Co. (San Antonio, TX): Built to Pourter (11/3/13)
Barley Creek Brewing Company (Tannersville, PA): Antler (5/7/13)

3.5
Guadalupe Brewing Company (New Braunfels, TX): Texas Honey Ale (on tap) (7/27/13)

Last updated 2/14/16

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