Sexsquatch: The Legend of Blood Stool Creek (2013)

Description (from the
Joey Jeremiah’s friends have gathered near Blood Stool Creek for a party weekend to throw their ambitious friend a “get laid” party. Teens… woods… beer… sex… what could possibly go wrong? Well the wooded area that plays host to their good times houses a sinister beast. He’s bloodthirsty, intelligent, eloquent, covered in hair, and HORNY as hell… it’s SEXSQUATCH!

Tobe Lerone as Leo DeChamp, Steven Deniro as Skippy, Chip Rockcastle as Joey, Savanna Ramone as Jennifer, Anne Marie Nouvo as Crystal, Francine Mitchell as Muffy, Dutch Hogan as Lucas, Peter Lieberman as Lance, Varla Darling as Mudhoney, Nick Peron as Brett, Nichole LaRoche as Mandy, Spamuel L. Jackson as Marmalade, Rod Bollo Skin as Stink Fist, PJ O’Pootertoot as Tone, The Warlock as Himself

Special Features:
Gag Reel, Trailers

Written and Directed by Chris Seaver

If you don’t know who Chris Seaver is, well, you’ve probably not read my reviews very much.  I’ve reviewed seven movies he’s directed, and a few other he’s been involved with, and GEEK WAR is the 2nd highest rated film (review here) I’ve reviewed.  Ever.  So, needless to say, I’m a fan.  More than that, I’m also a guy who has seen a decent body of his work.  Seaver made films for over 20 years under the name “Low Budget Pictures” (simple, utilitarian, honest: gotta love it) until late 2010 early 2011 when he decided that LBP had run its course and he shelved it.  From the ashes of LBP rose Warlock Video, Chris’ tribute to / rebirthing of Shot-On-Video 80’s schlock.  Not only did Warlock make movies like those really bad (but you know, bad in a good way) 80’s movies that exploded with that magic combination of the availability of the camcorder & VCR (aka the new home studio) and the proliferation of video stores needing content to fill their shelves.  I’ve been enjoying the Warlock films for what they are: gleefully bad for the sake of being bad, cheesy, and over-the-top, but not in the old super-zany LBP fashion, however, SEXSQUATCH: THE LEGEND OF BLOOD STOOL CREEK has been my first opportunity to review a Warlock release.  SEXSQUATCH is a bit different than the rest of the Warlock catalog thus far as it is the first “modern” Warlock film; it is not shot on VHS, and is not set in the 80’s, and actually comes off a bit more like a melding of the LBP and Warlock styles.

Joey Jeremiah is here to bid his virginity bye-bye
Joey Jeremiah is here to bid his virginity bye-bye

If you like Seaver films, SEXSQUATCH will be a welcome addition to your collection.  If you don’t, this film is not going to change your mind.  Like the vast catalogue that has come before it (and I mean VAST: Chris is a very prolific filmmaker) SEXSQUATCH is filled with raunchy sex comedy, bad language, outrageous comic violence, and is sure to offend most people at least once during its 59 minute run time.  If you don’t like this sort of thing, stay away; if these descriptions make you think “good times,” then that is exactly what you will get out of SEXSQUATCH: good times.  There are no subplots commenting on American consumerism, there are no deep discussions of race or poverty, there are not any plot twists or suspenseful bits, as a matter of fact there is pretty much just enough plot to get the movie from one joke to the next.  SEXSQUATCH is lean, Stink Fist is mean, and the movie exists for one purpose only: to make you laugh.  And unless you’re completely uptight, super introverted, or dead, it should succeed.

Skippy and Leo share a private moment
Skippy and Leo share a private moment

SEXSQUATCH was a nice step up, quality-wise, from what I expect in a Seaver film.  I realize that the Warlock films are generally (truly) shot on VHS, so I’m not really comparing SEXSQUATCH to those films, but in comparison to the latter non-Warlock Seaver films I had seen it is an increase in production value.  Shot in HD on a DSLR camera, SEXSQUATCH has the finest picture quality of any Seaver film I’ve seen.  Originally there was even talks of the film getting a Blu-Ray release – which was unfortunately scrapped because of the costs involved – and I would have loved to see this in true HD.  Even on a DVD it still looks pretty damned fine.  The sound is better than many earlier Seaver films; it’s still not amazingly great or anything like that, but SEXSQUATCH is always easy to hear and understand.  The dialogue in some points is a bit muffled here and there, but not to a point to be much of a real detriment to the movie.  For someone like me, who has been watching Seaver’s brand of schlock for so many years, SEXSQUATCH is a very big leap in the right direction, production-wise.  It also was a step up, just in general, over the last couple of non-Warlock Seaver films I watched, most notably I SPIT CHEW ON YOUR GRAVE… which, I was sad to say, I really was unimpressed by. SEXSQUATCH restored the faith I have in this wacky mind to make crazy shit that I know is going to make me laugh out loud, on numerous occasions, and with vigor; this movie did.

My friend's dead; let's skank!
My friend’s dead; let’s skank!

The acting is what I would expect: it’s all pretty cheesy and contrived and exactly as planned to be.  Most of the acting was decent – well, what is acting in a Seaver film is different than a lot of other films, as Seaver himself pretty much has the entire performance planned out, so it is what he wants it to be – but there were a couple of standouts in the cast. “Lerone” as Leo DeChamp is a character that many fans will be familiar with, and he is the same guy we expect, which is a testament to the performance.  The take on Stink Fist put in by “Skin” was a really nice and unexpected departure from what you expect from a character like that; the choice to have him be an eloquent, intelligent, British-accented monster was awesome.  My personal favorite was “Deniro” as Skippy; while he could be written off as just a silly and way over-the-top Robert DeNiro impersonation, I found some subtleties in the performance that moved it from plain old making fun to just plain fun, and I enjoyed all of the screen time he occupied.

Stink Fist himself, searching for some boob juice
Stink Fist himself, searching for some boob juice

SEXSQUATCH has its drawbacks too.  As I stated before, if you’re not a fan of this genre, of this filmmaker’s unique brand of lunacy, SEXSQUATCH is going to do nothing for your opinion.  I once loaned a Seaver film to a friend, who promptly returned it to me with a comment of simply: “What the fuck was that?”  This film will gain Seaver no new fans that no other of his good films would have.  The movie itself really is just one big joke – a raping sasquatch – wrapped around a contrived 80’s plot, with a bit of a personal touch thrown in (I’d be completely flabbergasted if Joey Jeremiah’s character isn’t at least a little based on Chris himself), so there is no depth here.  There are some production bits that could be better, especially on the sound front and the effects.  And don’t get me started on the DVD cover art… well, ok maybe just a little.  The DVD sleeve has so many issues: the running time is wrong, there are incorrect bonus features listed, not one place does it ever say Chris Seaver’s name, and that art on the front!  If I did not know what this movie was, I would most certainly walk right by it at any store I saw it at without a second glance.  Hopefully this review will help people not judge this DVD by its cover, and take the time to discover the gem that is housed within.

Overall I greatly enjoyed SEXSQUATCH.  It is not Seaver’s best film ever, but it is his best in quite a while, and his best looking film by far.  It is nothing too new for the people that are familiar with the world Seaver plays in, but if you enjoy that world you are going to enjoy this movie.  I’m sure of it.  I felt it was a welcome step up in both production quality and writing, as well it has some really funny tangents (ska grief break anyone?) that I greatly enjoyed.  I will be happy to throw this up on the shelf next to the rest of my Seaver collection… I just wish it had some different cover art!

Overall 7.5 / 10

SEXSQUATCH is not on the IMDb.

SEXSQUATCH for sale:


Sexsquatch: The Legend of Blood Stool Creek (2013)DVD Cover
Sexsquatch: The Legend of Blood Stool Creek (2013)
DVD Cover
Sexsquatch (2012)Theatrical Poster
Sexsquatch (2012)
Theatrical Poster

One thought on “Sexsquatch: The Legend of Blood Stool Creek (2013)

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s