Geek War (2010)

Description (condensed from
Geek War tells the tale of a mysterious VHS tape that dwells in the comic book shop of Deathbone (Billy Garberina), the eccentric barbarian shop owner. Deathbone has priced this tape at 1500 bucks and in 25 years nobody has ever forked over the cash to buy it, until now. Thus begins the Geek War. Both Max and Papillion fight to claim the tape as their own from the clutches of Tangerine, the hot girl in question.  Both sides pull every trick in the book to seduce Tangerine in hopes of grasping the tape as their own. In the course of trying to win her heart, Max ends up falling for Tangerine, and that is when the REAL trouble begins.

Kurt Indovina as Max, Raine Brown as Tangerine, Josh Suire as Papillion, Meredith Host as Suki, Billy Garberina as Deathbone, Shawn C. Phillips as Simore, Andrew Baltes as Shane, Jesse Ames as Marge, Amber Snook as Spammy, and Heather Maxon as Slut

Special Features:
None (Screener)

Written and Directed by Chris Seaver

I never thought I would say this: LBP has made a romantic comedy.  And it’s the best Chris Seaver film I’ve ever seen.

GEEK WAR is the story of a mysteriously overpriced VHS tape – the crown jewel of the local comic shop, run by none other than Deathbone  – and the geeks that covet it.  Max Havoc, the local “über-geek”, has long lusted after the prize… as has his rival, Papillion St. Croix.  When the day finally comes that Max has saved the $1,500 needed to purchase the oh-my-god-it-must-be-freakin’-awesome tape, it’s not there.  Deathbone has sold the tape, not to “TFK: That Fucking Kid” aka Papillion (who also arrives on this fateful day, cash in hand), but to one of the rarest forms of the human species: a really hot geek girl.  Tangerine, a honest-to-goodness, not buying comics for her brother but for herself, Full Moon Pictures loving, pop-cuture reference knowing, truly geeky girl has beat Max and Papillion to the prize.  As Max says, “She took my VHS tape, [and] proceeded to not only out-cool me but out-geek me.  I’m turned on, yet devastated.”

Immediately both Max and Papillion come up with similar schemes: woo the hot geek girl, and then when the opportunity allows, snatch the tape.  Tangerine, being the too trusting person she is, accepts both Papillion and Max’s offers for a date night, with very different outcomes.  Papillion, being the rich douche he is, has the opposite effect of wooing, and loses all hope of sneaking the tape away.  On the other hand, Max and Tangerine hit it off, and Max starts to realize there is a lot more to be won than just a VHS of unknown origin.  As I mentioned in the beginning of this review, this film is a romantic comedy, so you can probably figure out the end result – though you’d be tough pressed to guess how the film gets to where it is going.  This is LBP, after all.

I never thought I’d see a romcom from Chris Seaver, and I really never thought I’d be saying that it’s the best Seaver film I’ve ever seen.  In general – well, even more than general… in the vast majority – I don’t like romcoms.  They’re predictable, sappy, usually have horrible dialogue, and seriously… they’re romcoms.  ‘Nuff said.  However, this is romcom done LBP style: there is the boy meets girl, boy loses girl, boy gets girl back again plot line that is ever so familiar from any one of a million films starring any one of a million similar looking Hollywood chicks, but in-between that normally banal plot structure is LBP goodness.  Poop jokes, weird facial ticks and line deliveries, familiar LBP characters, and too many pop-culture references to count make this film firmly reside in the LBP universe.

However, the LBP universe is restrained.  And that’s not a bad thing.  I think GEEK WAR is by leaps and bounds the most easily accessible LBP film ever.  There is no gore, there are no dildos portraying penises, the offensive factor is downplayed, and over all it’s so much fun to watch that many people that would be turned off by the more traditional LBP elements would be sucked in… and only later truly realize that there is a long conversation about why it’s required to use toilet paper to wipe your ass, and how using other things could cause a rip in space-time.  Yes, the things that make an LBP film an LBP film are still present in GEEK WAR, but they are restrained, or dare I say, matured?

GEEK WAR is the movie I’ve been waiting for LBP to make.  It has all of the LBP sensibilities and weirdness that I have grown to love over the years, but it is restrained enough that it could introduce LBP to a much wider audience than much of the older LBP fare.  This movie was laugh out loud funny, well written, beautifully shot (by Seaver and Billy Garberina), and overall a step above most of its predecessors.  Kurt Indovina has matured as an actor – an LBP actor – and Jesse Ames’ Marge was one of the highlights of the movie; this is a character I have greatly enjoyed since her first introduction to the LBP universe, but in GEEK WAR we get a Marge that is spot-on.  Some of the other characters – I’m looking at you, Simore, Shane and Spammy  – didn’t live up to the rest of the film for me, but you can’t have all hits without a miss or two.  One of the really enjoyable parts of the film was the performance of Raine Brown, an actual actress (usually LBP cast lists are made up of Chris’ friends, who do a fine job when molded by Chris into the LBP fold) who carries the part of the hot-geek-girl with great poise, and also Billy Garberina (another actor outside of LBP) whose continuation of the character of Deathbone works perfectly.  Billy Garberina’s filmmaking sense can also be felt in the aforementioned photography, which has also evolved in the later LBP films.

Overall, I just can’t say enough good things about this movie.  I think I’ve said most of them already, but here’s a few more!  This film, like much LBP, has a great 80’s vibe (starting with the selection of Michael Sembello’s “Rock Until You Drop,” originally from THE MONSTER SQUAD), and has so many pop-culture references that it could be made into a drinking game for bored college students… if college students would get the 80’s references!  The dialogue is infinitely repeatable (in the right groups, not to your mom!), the plot moves quickly, and at 75 or so minutes the film does not in any way feel too long.  Truthfully, I would have been happy if it were even a bit longer!  GEEK WAR “straight molly-whopped” me.  It was awesome.  It was totally rad.  It has become my favorite LBP flick ever, ever.

Overall 9.5 / 10

GEEK WAR is not on the IMDB

GEEK WAR for sale:

GEEK WAR site:

DVD Cover


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